Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?

Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?

Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?

Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?

Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?

In baseball, you know where home is.

Girl: Hi (flirt)

Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...

If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

(People will then say "r")

Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.