Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!