the doctor said i had 2 years to live so i shot him the warden gave me 50 problem solved
is'nt a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!?
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies,”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says,”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says,”alright last chance. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “haha! I got you now!” But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,”He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50-shades of brown.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% Graduation rate and he said "Your mom doesn't count as a college"
Hi guys I am Logan Taub the toad, I just want to say that by cock is so so so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also I am trans👍
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
So there is this button there's a 50% chance you get a million dollars there's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle make them press the button and if they give the money you just push the orphan over take their money and run away because who they going to tell their parents.
*family are together playing charades*
Me: 50 Shades of Grey! Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on nan!
i charge 50 bucks a suck
WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU SEE A NlGGER SHOT 50 TIMES? STOP LAUGHING AND RELOAD.
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"
watching 50 shades of grey was more painful then my uncle fisting me as a kid.
Chinese takeout $15 . 00 gas to get there $1.50 . Getting home to find they,very forgotten one of your dishes RICELESS
IN memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the jackson Chocolte ice cream, it is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
9/11
this is so sad can we hit 50 likes?!!
What would a gay man do for free that a heterosexual woman that is a whore won't do for $50.00 for a heterosexual man? Suck his balls.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude I just fell off a 50 foot ladder!" Friend: "Bro, you ok?!" Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus
