50 jokes
Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!
Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!
I charge 50 bucks a suck.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
I am smart!
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?
Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.