50 Jokes

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

How do you paint a wall red?

You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.

There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.

How many are hungry?

A. 10

Want to save 50% on your Chinese?

Just ask before you pay.

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

true to some ppl

A woman in a pink top and black shorts is bending over the front of a car. The text reads: I MET A PROSTITUTE WHO SAID SHE'LL DO ANYTHING FOR $50. GUESS WHO'S GOT HIS FRONT PORCH REPAINTED.

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.

How many times does 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out!

I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.

Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!

Doctor: Sit down for a minute.

What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.

In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag

What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?

High steaks gambling.

Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?