50 Jokes

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.

a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

whats the one thing me and the new years ball have in common

its not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this new years

How many times can 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out

What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

What do most 50-year-old men put inside there cars

Children

What has 50 legs but cant walk??

25 disabled children

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

Did you know that McDonalds made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50 year old piece of meat in a 12 year old bun.

whats in a michael jackson hotdog

a 50 year old piece of meat

a 12 year old bun

There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.

Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"

Priest, "how so?"

Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"

Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"

Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"

Then Matt walks out the door

Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"

Person: 'Doctor, doctor I've only got 50 seconds to live'

Doctor: 'Just give me a minute'

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore, she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

First of all, If a Woman Sue's Bill Cosby for Drugging & Rape 50 Years ago, & She Could still remember it, IT COULDNT HAVE BEEN ALL BAD

In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.