Yours jokes

Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.

If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Your uncle.

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.

Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.

"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

What do you do when your cat's not home?

Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.