Yours jokes
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
POV: you're tired
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.