Yours jokes

Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."

Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"

Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?

They moan louder than your speakers.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.

Friend: How dark IS your humor?

Me: It started an organization against cops.

What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.

Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?

Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.

Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.

Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.

Me: ...

What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?

Transparent.

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European.

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”

School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.

What's red and blue and runs up your leg?

A homesick miscarriage.

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.