Yours jokes

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

What did the person say to the orphan?

"Where are your parents?"

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

Friend #2: "Apples"

Me: "I can hang myself in them."

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.

Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.

Lil Jimmy: Why?

Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.

Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕

Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?

If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.