Yours jokes

Orphan

  • An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

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  • Orphan

  • Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

    Students: "oof"

    Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

    Students: "Yeah, your parents."

    Cop

  • The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

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  • Son

  • I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."

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  • Job

  • I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

    "Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

    The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

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  • Drunk man

  • A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

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  • Bisexual man

  • What is gay - curious 🤔 😳

    👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.

    👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?

    🚲 🚲 🚲

    😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.

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  • Insult

  • I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

    I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

    I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

    Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

    You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

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  • Mermaid

  • A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

    As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

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