Yours jokes
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"
Orphan: "Stop calling here!"
Me in the corner.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
My life, your life, and your sister is a slut.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!