You're jokes
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.
POV: you're tired
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕