You're jokes

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

What do you do when your cat's not home?

Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

What did the person say to the orphan?

"Where are your parents?"

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.