You're jokes

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European.

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”

School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.

What's red and blue and runs up your leg?

A homesick miscarriage.

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.

Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.