You're jokes
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.
Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.
Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
What type of sound does your crack make?
Answer: Quack!
I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.
Then I got fired from the orphanage.
My sister asked me, "Brother, how do babies come into the world?" Then my mom said, "Be quiet and fuck your brother, darling."
Is that the answer?
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Are you fin-ished with your work?
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
Your mama is so fat, the Marvel Universe disappeared.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
A guy once went hunting at a hunting ranch. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in the rancher’s living room. There they were having a grand ole time then the rancher’s wife walks in. The hunter says, “That’s a nice piece of ass you got yourself there.” The rancher replied with a harsh, raspy Southern chuckle from years of Marlboro Reds, “You’ve never been so right in your life. Honey, why don’t you show our guest your tits?” She agrees and shows the hunter her plump DD cup breasts.
The hunter says, “Nice.” Then the rancher said, “Show ‘em yer pecker now.” She agreed and whipped out a 13 incher. Dazed and confused, the hunter says, “What in Sam Hill is that?!” And the rancher replied, “Now... lemme tell you... there ain’t a thing like it.”