You're jokes

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"

The girl says, "Just like your face."

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.

What do guns and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.

Son: That’s too baaaaaad!

Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.

Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.

If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?

Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.