You're jokes
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?
Treon: How did you find that?!
Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!
Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!
Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Treon: We can't!
Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
Anybody can use this :)
Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.