You're jokes
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Your momma so slutty, she masturbates with the Calgary Tower.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
Your mama's so crazy, she thought Mike Tyson had some boots and cats up his sleeve.
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
You're so skinny that you fall.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Your nan.
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
Your mom.
Your dad!
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
You're gay.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"