You're jokes
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
Incest.
When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
Australia needs YOUR help!
ISIS brides are coming to Australia! They need to go back to where they came from. Help us before they blow us up like the terrorists they are!
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
New degree plans announced by Cornell University:
- Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.
- Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.
- Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.
Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree
Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.
It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!
I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’
Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.
A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from
Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”
That’s the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it don’t matter how much her ass is worth
or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high can’t nobody top me
She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”
I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”