You're jokes

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."

Q: What's the best part about gardening?

A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.

Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.

What is killing your friend called?

A homie-side.

When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."

What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?

Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, "I'm scared."

The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!

Your move, Ron DeSantis.

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.

Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

April Fools' joke: Go to an orphanage and say your parents came back.