You're jokes
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."
"Oh no, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Oh, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Your mom is fat and so are you.