You're jokes

I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.

What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.

I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?

Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!

Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.

What do you expect when you get out of a bar?

Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.

A father of a young girl comes to meet the doctor.

Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?

Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.

Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried!

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.

"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"

"Only in your dreams."

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.

Midget: Hey! What’s up?

Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.

Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Queen.

Queen who?

You don't know the queen? You're crazy!

Take a step back... just like your hairline did.

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?