You jokes

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

What do you call a picture of an orphan? A selfie.

Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?

Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."

You know what? I know five fat people, and you're four of them!

If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.

Your disabled joke on you can't stand.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Annabeth: "Percy, whaters up with you?"

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

What do you get when you cut an onion?

Onion jizz.

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.

POV: you