You jokes

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

What do you call fake noodles?

Impasta!

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

Let me tell you a joke about pizza!

Never mind...

It's too cheesy.

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"

Fork off!

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"