You jokes
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!