You jokes
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
What did the orphan say to the bowling ball?
"I am orphan!"
"You are bowling ball!"
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What do you call six gay men in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...