Eclipse jokes

How does the man on the moon cut his hair?

Eclipses it!

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”

No sun.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.

You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.

Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.

"Correct," says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.

"Correct again," says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"

Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.