You jokes

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?

No, well neither has he.

What time is it when you have a toothache?

2:30 (Tooth hurty).

What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?

My Chemical Romance.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

You soak balls, get it?

Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?

Because he didn't land either.

What does Pikachu and an orphan have in common?

Pikachu, I choose you!

Your dad has a huge PP.

How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

Why can't you ever see an emo?

They're too high to see.

When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."

Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?

It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?

He pasta way!