You jokes

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ididap.

Ididap who?

That's the joke, you did a poo!

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

What time do you think dogs are not happy?

Bulldogs.

What type of people think rape jokes are funny?

Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂

I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.

My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!

What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?

A LYRICAL ILLUSIONIST

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.

Like if you love food!

When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?

Just barely hugging you! Lol.

So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!

What do you call someone who is half a Jew?

Jew-ish.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until their parents come home.

Never gonna give you up.

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”