You jokes
Friend: What fly's and cry's?
You: A cloud.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
Memes
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.
Hi! 👋 I love 💕 you love 💕 a good time at home. 🏡
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
You will never have a girlfriend.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!