You jokes
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
Memes
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.