What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
You Jokes
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
