You jokes
You're so ugly you make Happy Meals cry.
You're so emo, even Billie Eilish can't beat you!
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
Memes
Would you like to win 100k?
Comment on my next video for a chance to win!
You.
If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.
To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!
They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.
Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.
I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.