You jokes

Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?

If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!

What do you call an abo with a shotgun?

Sir.

You think my face is ugly? Yours is more.

What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can't tuna fish.

What makes a skeleton laugh?

When you tickle his funny bone with a skele-TON of jokes!

Heh.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make him clap until his parents come back.

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

I see that you start work at 9am, but your hairline starts at 9:15am.

Hey, can you hold this for a second?

One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

You and your mom.

What do you call a Mexican without a car?

Carlos.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

R.I.P. boiled water. You will be mist.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.