You jokes
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
The great meme reset is like a fart. If you force it, it's gonna be shit.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Your mom is fat and so are you.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?
No, it screeches.
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
You smell!
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.