You jokes

There are many types, good and bad, all at a reasonable price (€3.90 per week), and you can buy crushed stone for €5. It can be fresher and tastier than ever.

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.

What do jokes serve for dessert?

Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

"I look up to you."

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

If you were a food, what would you be?

Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.

Like the faker Gwen?

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.

Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?

Richard: No, I couldn't.

Richard's mom: Why?

Richard: Because he was cute.

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.

Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?

No?

Because it hasn't come out yet.

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."

How do you blind an Irish woman?

You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.