You jokes
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
Memes
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
Whoever is an orphan and wants these to go, or if you just want them to go away, comment down below, or if you can't comment, give it a thumbs up!
You were tricked, loser. ;]
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Like if you are scared of Covid-19.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.