You jokes

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.

How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

What do you call a black prostitute with braces?

A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.

Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

Why are orphans so sad?

Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."

Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."

How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them.