You jokes
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Q: What do you call a clean idiot? A: Soap on a Dope.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
What do you call a group of emos? The suicide squad.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night? Museum girl: Committing suicide. Allan: What about Friday night?
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?