You jokes
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.
Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?
Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?