You jokes
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
Why can't you play with a cheetah?
Because they are cheat-ahs!
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?
A killstreak.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
What do you name a family reunion of an orphan?
"Me time."
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.
I guess I failed.
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
Me: What's that sound?
Ex: What?
Me: Oh, it's the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!