You jokes
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Eggs
You crack me up!
What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him for a drag.
Do you know this kind of kid
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.