You jokes
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Oh, shit, I have nothing to say to you!
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Memes
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
What do you call an emo furry squad?
The suicide furs.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Dislike this if you think orphans are weird.
Like this if you think orphans are cool!
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A chopping board.
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"