You jokes
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
Yo mama so stupid that she shit and farted on you, asshole!
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.