What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
You Jokes
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Oh, shit, I have nothing to say to you!
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revoir, GGG
