You jokes
What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
Yo mama so stupid that she shit and farted on you, asshole!
Like if you blow male cows?
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No.
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
uh oh
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.
What do you call an abo with a shotgun?
Sir.
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
What do you call a white girl who can run faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)