You jokes

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.

Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.

What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your dad.

But my dad's dead.

I know, just reminding you!

What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?

Tourists.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!

How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Names......

Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?

Continental Drift.

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?

They all have blood "eh."

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line!

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it is tearable.

What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?

Cold as hell.

“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”

“Yes.”

“Did you hang ‘em?”

What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?

A Mac Daddy Pro.