You jokes
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
Why did the skeleton have no friends?
He was a boner!
Heheheh!
Ah, see ya soon kiddo.
I'm going on break.
I'll give you some fried snow later!
What do you call a stupid male Indian?
"Anshu-man."
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.
You calling me gay, but the pole is straighter than you.
You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?
There was none, it was all white!
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the jaw.