You jokes

Van

"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."

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  • Cow

    What did the Indian say to the cow?

    I lowe you, moo than anything.

  • 0
  • Priest

    A girl walks into the church and confesses.

    Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

    Priest: "How have you sinned, may I ask?"

    Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

    Priest: "Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"

    Girl: "He held my hand."

    Priest: "Like this?" (He holds the girl's hand.)

    Girl: "Yes, Father."

    Priest: "That does not explain why you called a man a bitch."

    Girl: "He started taking off my clothes."

    Priest: "Like this?" (He takes off the girl's clothes.)

    Girl: "Yes, Father."

    Priest: "That also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch."

    Girl: "Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what."

    Priest: "Like this?" (He puts his you know what into her you know what.)

    Girl: "Yes, Father! Yes, Father!"

    Priest: "Then what?"

    Girl: "Then he got up and left me naked."

    Priest: "That son of a bitch!"

    Deaf people

    Dear Hearing People,

    We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

    Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

    Memes

    Life

    If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!

    Wife

    Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?

    People

    Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?

    Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

    Pussy

    Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?

    Molestation

    Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!

    Skeleton

    What makes a skeleton laugh?

    When you tickle his funny bone with a skele-TON of jokes!

    Heh.

    Orphan

    How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

    Make him clap until his parents come back.

    Tuna

    What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?

    You can't tuna fish.

    Text

    Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].

    Sea

    How does the sea say hello?

    It WAVES you.

    SEA what I did there?

    I'm SHORE you saw it.

    Don't be SALTY!

    People

    Why do you make fun of disabled people?

    They can't stand up for themselves.