You jokes

Did you hear about the Chinese student?

Me neither.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.

Women: Can I have your number?

Jesus: No.

Women: Why? Are you scared?

Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.

Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.

Abbie: I had sex with dad.

Mom: Go die in a hole!

Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?

P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.

What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.

Like if you blow male cows?

What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?

An AK-46.

Yo mama so stupid that she shit and farted on you, asshole!

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."

When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.

You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.

What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?

I don't know, you tell me.

If you don't like racist people, isn't that discrimination?

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

What did the doctor say to the orphan?

"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"

How do you stop constipation?

You scare the crap outta them.

(Crap is another word for poop.)

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

Can you fuck me, please?