You jokes

Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?

The salad could be dressing!

Black humor is when you ask water to African people.

You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.

Bully: Your mom hates you.

Orphan: I don't have parents ;)

What do you call a fake speedrunner?

Dream.

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

You are so butty-ful!

Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.

What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?

Bruno Mars.

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

What do you call an imposter octopus?

Octosus.

What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?

Vegetable soup.

If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.

What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?

Sticky Minaj.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.