You jokes
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.
*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.