You jokes
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
wear sweatpants.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
What do you call a wingless fly?
A walk!
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
The Earth used to be flat until they buried yo mama.