You jokes
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the ๐ love of your life!๐
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!๐
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Black humor is when you ask water to African people.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
Never eat more than you can lift.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
๐: You're so hot!
๐: How are you single?
โ๏ธ: I burn anyone who gets too close!
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.