You jokes

Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!

You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.

What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?

Well, that is DHALicious!

What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?

A blast from the past!

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."

Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?

Me: The boomerang came back.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

Kid 2: No!

Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.

Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.

Kid 1: Aw, thanks!

Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.

What do you call a straight orphan?

A no homeo.

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?