You jokes
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Do you want to hear a joke?
You.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.
You know, for his sake.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How do you make orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap for their parents to come back.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make it clap until its parents come home.