Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
You Jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
If you ever get cold, just go to a corner because they're usually 90 degrees.
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
Do you know Candice?
"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.
Roses are red, My c0ck is blue, Oh shit, what happened to you?
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
SEX Some Event Xaern
Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
Some girls are like rocks.
You skip the flat ones.
What do you call a group of teenage emos?
Suicide squad.
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
