You jokes
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
A bipolar bear.
Lol
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Memes
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
What do you call a group of emos?
A Suicide Squad.
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
How do you get the emo girl out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
Do you know Biden?
Biden on these nuts.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.