You jokes
What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?
Sticky Minaj.
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.