You jokes

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

Doctor Seuss break up lines:

"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."

What do you call somebody in America that is smart?

An immigrant.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

Bully: Your mom hates you.

Orphan: I don't have parents ;)

What do you call a fake speedrunner?

Dream.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD

What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.

You know this joke really cracks up my bones!

What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?

A milkshake.

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx