*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
You Jokes
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?
Ground beef.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
