You jokes
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
Memes
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.
I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣
Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
(Answer) Ground beef.
Sorry for a bad joke.
What do you call a one-legged China man?
Ty Whon Shu.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.