You jokes

What do you call a scared octopus?

An octopussy.

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?

POORphan

You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.

What's wrong with 89?

You blow me and I owe you one.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

What do you call a nut in jail?

A busted nut.

What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?

Why are you so tall?

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.

Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

Guy: Robin

Bank owner: Your last name?

Guy: Debank

Bank owner: Robin Debank?

Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

Where do you go to get the best fish?

A restaurant on the Titanic.

What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?

A milkshake.

What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.

You know this joke really cracks up my bones!

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.