You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
You Jokes
Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Are you the Twin Towers? Because you made my heart explode.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Your face looks like my butt, but it looks like you.
What do you call Joey in a room? Transgender.
