You jokes
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
Did you hear about the midget astronaut?
He landed on Pluto.
What do you call a Muslim and an Arab in a plane?
Pilots, you racist fuckers!
ITS SO TRUE ONG
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.