You jokes
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Memes
Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.
Nevermind, it's too cheesy!
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.
Unless you force them the point.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
How do you see past that forehead?
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.