You jokes
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
Black humor is when you ask water to African people.
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.