You jokes

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until their parents come home.

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

3 minutes later:

Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?

When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!

If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"

What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?

He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?