You jokes
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"