Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
What keeps you breathing when your on earth?
I don't know I suffocated at birth
I asked a kid why so blue didn't relies his parents were chocking him out
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911 holy shit.
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.