You jokes
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
Reasons
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice