You Jokes

Wonder Woman

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

Duck

What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?

A Peking duck.

Traffic

Teacher: Why were you late?

Me: Traffic.

Teacher: Did I did it?

Me: Did I even blame it on you?

Name

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

Orphan

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Orphan

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.

Knife

When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

Mayo

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

Family

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Attitude

Quote of the day:

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.

Chao!!!

Hooker

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Orphan

How do you make orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap for their parents to come back.

Ass

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make it clap until its parents come home.

Adoption

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

Fat

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.