You jokes
Do you want to hear a building joke?
I am still working on it.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.
How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! (aka dinner)
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.