You jokes
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Why does this always happen to me...
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
POV: You go to Asian prison.
You get served extra rice.
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock." "Who?" "Knock, knock you."
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
What do you call a cute door? A-door-able!
How do you anger a Republican?
Tell him the truth.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.